Have you ever been in debt? Do you remember how it feels like to owe someone? I remember times in school when I had to borrow money from friends because I didn’t have at the time. Like expected, I didn’t feel too good about owing them money. I felt uneasy and troubled even though they weren’t pressuring me to pay back. But immediately my account got credited by my parents and I paid in full, there was just this peace, joy, and relief that enveloped me.
I’m pretty sure you must have felt this way before, perhaps not in this scenario. It doesn’t have to be money related. Anything that isn’t yours legally is borrowed but it is still the same feeling. That uneasy feeling you get when you see the person or you remember that you are still in debt and then, the great relief and feeling of peace that comes where you know you don’t owe them a thing. But what we are discussing here isn’t money related. It is something else.
Let’s get into it, shall we?
Feeling Indebted? – Paid in Full
A lot of us are trapped in toxic relationships. The perspective I’m coming from is the one where you feel too indebted to someone to walk away from an abusive situation. You’ve had them say to you, “I am with you because no one else wants you. If you leave me, you won’t find anyone as good as me. You owe your very self to me because I made you everything you are today. If I didn’t do this for you, you still would be nothing without me. You wouldn’t amount to much if you leave me…” I can go on and on giving you practical scenarios. Some of us don’t even recognize the signs. We just go with the flow because everyone is doing it or because we prefer the familiar than the unknown.
I remember asking someone how she could go on in a relationship where he constantly reminds her of all she was before they started dating. He’d insult her and accuse her of many different things even when she obviously didn’t do any of those things… Perhaps you’ve been told to walk away by friends and those who love you but you cannot find the strength to leave so you’d rather be mad at your friends for telling you the truth than seeing the harsh reality staring you in the face. It is not as though we don’t understand or don’t want to see things from your perspective but honey, what is wrong is wrong. Anyone who tells you otherwise doesn’t love you.
Let me ask you this: When exactly do you think this debt would be paid in full?
Don’t you realize what this is doing to you? One moment you are happy and the next you are depressed. You keep trying to hold it all together on the surface but deep down, you are falling apart. Let’s be honest. It doesn’t matter how long you stay or do more. Your “more” will never be enough for them. That debt you feel you owe them can never be paid in full. Yeah! You know the cycle already. Things only go well when things are going their own way but turn chaotic when you try to do it right by God.
You need to realize that they are not God. They can never be because they are just as human as you are. Can you please stop letting them play God in your life? Their issue is too deep for you to help them sort through. You both need to walk away from each other, not into another relationship but to Jesus to heal you. There is a reason why the Holy Spirit through Paul said that your time as a single is for the Lord. You need to learn to walk with Him first – let Him help you sort through your issues. You are not God either. Walk away so God can have His way.
Jesus Paid in Full!!!
Yes! He paid in full so you don’t have to be in debt anymore. Sometimes I think we don’t understand what Jesus did for us on that cross. I know His love is too deep, wide, long and too high for us to comprehend but He died so you can live free. He paid in full. God cherishes you so much that he gave Heaven’s best to restore his masterpiece – YOU.
For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life – John 3:16
It was not the nails that held Jesus to the cross but the love he has for you. He could have come down from the cross yet He was willing to die this shameful death and clear your debt tab so that no one would have the power to make you feel indebted and trapped ever again. Jesus wore a crown of thorns so you’d never have to go through life with a bleeding heart and a shattered self-esteem. He carried the cross that contained all your debts and flaws so that you can receive the “Paid in Full” stamp. Jesus was mocked so that you would have the boldness and confidence to walk away from abusive people who keep making reference to your past and keep killing your self-worth.
He was wounded so that by his wounds, every hurtful incident and word that contributed to making you see yourself less than how he sees you be cast out of your life for good. Jesus was stripped so that you can have the boldness to walk away leaving behind the toxic clothes of hurt, bitterness, and shame.
He paid in full so you can stop being held captive.
Every time you allow yourself to be defined by another person’s opinion of you or allow yourself feel indebted and keep staying in a relationship that leaves you looking like a shadow of yourself, you are repeating what was done to Jesus on the cross all over again but this time you are doing it to yourself. You do have a choice. Walk away from that relationship and walk with Jesus. If you cannot find your way, you should pray to Him. There is a deep connection between what you do and what God does for Him. Come to Jesus so He can teach you.
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Let’s Share a Word of Prayer
Lord Jesus, I now know the magnitude of the price you paid for me. I acknowledge you today as my lord, personal savior and the one who loves me the most. I believe in you. Let your light burst into my life and cast out every fear and darkness. Thank you, Jesus, for this opportunity; AMEN!!!